I await

I thought I knew you

Not Fully. A part.

A part that cares, deeply

A part that shares, unapologetically

A part that is excited, unimaginably

A part that is sad, clearly

Different days. Different versions. You are still you. But, I can never understand you, fully.

You are tangled, in your own mystery

Difficult to comprehend — your words, spoken and unsaid. Brings misery. Often, unnecessary.

I tried. I try.

I hear you. I see you.

You are not who you are. You want to be more than that mark.

A mark that creeps into your mind.

Puzzled. Muzzled. Hazy. Zzzz. It happens again. Like a switch. It’s on.

And then it triggers, you said it. In your messy thoughts.

A manifestation inexplicable. Your own conscious fooling you. You fumble. Mumble. Jumble.

You regret.

It’s hard.

I know.

Is there an escape? You know it.

Why don’t you seek freedom when you know it exists? Inside you and me. Everyone.

It is tough. I get it. Isn’t an attempt worth it?

You choose numbness. Hide it. Instead.

It collects. Gathers. Layers added.

Then one day, the switch happens, and the mind fools again. It’s that day, again.

The consciousness is lost. Still, it lingers.

Uncatchable. Unattainable. You might think. But it is there.

Your little and big heart. Deep and shallow breath. Always there.

Reach out, vent out. Share, let it go. To someone. Anyone. Why don’t you?

It is tough. I get it. Isn’t an attempt worth it?

Trust the process.

But first, begin.

To think and believe that freedom is possible every day, each moment. You have the power. You know.

But please, begin.

I can’t lose you. We can’t lose you. Feels like an end.

I thought I knew you.

But, which part will you now create?

I await.